Archive for Crossing Jordan

Jordan is officially CROSSED!

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Although there has been little consistency in my posting on this blog…I am going to try and begin posting REGULARLY :)

God is good! All the time! And God is FAITHFUL!  So much has transpired since my last post. God called our family to CALIFORNIA!  I am now an intern with a ministry here and although we are still in transition…WE MADE IT!  Everyday Elijah, our 3 year old (nearly 4), and says, “It’s gonna be a good day!”  Indeed, today is a good day! We are so thankful to God for loving and using us in His greater plan!

 

I’m not sure where to begin since it’s been so long :(

 

I had a beautiful career with AAA in which I made over $40,000/year. I was there a few days shy of 2 years and I would have NEVER left the company unless God requested…which He did.  I made wonderful friends while at AAA and had numerous opportunities to serve others while working as an auto claims adjuster. I am a better person for having accepted the position with such a wonderful company! Truly!! I miss it!

 

On a more personal note, my husband and myself were too excited to have nearly ALL our children with us while we lived in Oklahoma City!  It was loud, it was hectic, but it was what my heart desired…and for a season, I got it.

 

However, as He does at times, God stepped in and changed EVERYTHING!

 

I am thankful to God for the time He gave me with the family and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world!  The teens said, “No, thank you!” to Cali!  I understand.  Their jumping ship and staying at the family farm allows Israel and I a chance to focus primarily on ministry (and toddlers).  Again, being without ANY of our children is not something we would chose for ourselves, BUT GOD in His infinite wisdom knows all things and we chose to trust God with our children and know He is at work within them, always.  I trust God will bless our entire extended family as they’ve offered to take the teens into their homes as we’ve accepted His call and are walking in complete obedience!

 

I will go further in depth, hopefully, later, as far as the transition details but it’s been the roughest EVER and God is all over it!  We understand.  We have submitted all of ourselves, our time, our resources, our families, our hopes and dreams to His greater purpose and plan!  We know God is faithful and we are also witnesses this on a regular!

 

More to come!  God bless you!!!

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…..aanndd….NOTHING

Indeed, there is nothing like waiting on the Holy Spirit to move…

I will stay exactly where I am and seek Him more, my life may depend on it.

I know my God will not fail me; I know the precious Holy Spirit will guide us.

Thank you, God, for being forever faithful, even when we are not; thank you for your Word which is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path;

Thank you, Holy Spirit, for always leading me and guiding me in the truth, for showing me which path to take;

Thank you, Jesus, for being my best friend and Savior, My God!

 

Many things are uncertain about the future…of the world…of this country…

But His truth endures forever and is unchanging!

I am on the right side….even if that means I am unpopular, unloved, disrespected, abused, and killed.

Praise and Glory be to God, our Father, who art in Heaven, sitting on His throne.  Worthy is the Lamb!  Come, Lord Jesus, come.

 

Meanwhile, I continue to occupy ’til Shiloh return.

It’s been awhile…

And I’m soooo happy to finally get a minute to blog.

My life has changed dramatically!   :)~  By God’s mercy and grace I am, again, living my dream.  Each day I walk in light and love and I understand more about God’s heart towards me.  I knew He loved me…but…  Did you know the Bible says He loves us as much as He loves Jesus and that Jesus loves us as much as He loves the Father?!  If that’s not earth shattering Breaking NEWS, I don’t know what is! (John 15:9, 17:23)

I am beginning my last (no, seriously) LAST semester at TCC, finishing up my associates in Psychology.  Whew!  Yes, I’m taking College Algebra again and YES I NEED YOUR PRAYERS :)  Also taking Adolescent Psychology and Human Relations II.  YAY!  Almost done!  Then I am planning on moving to Kansas City, MO., to attend a six-month internship at IHOP (International House of Prayer).  I felt His leading to do this a year ago but fell back into carnal living for a season (as a dog returning to it’s vomit).  Yeah, it may not be a pleasant verse but it’s true.

I am grateful to be back among the land of the living and loving and thriving in Christ!  I am so thankful for God plucking me out of the fire.  He has shaped, molded and created us specifically how He desired and all for His pleasure and purpose.  Praise God!!!  I am currently on about session #19, Song of Songs teaching by Mike Bickle, and each day I fall more in love with my Maker!  {I feel like if I would have only caught revelation of His overwhelming and all consuming love before I would have lived so differently.  Alas, I know now…after I laid everything on the altar and made up my mind to serve Him with everything I have and all I am.  So…here I am Lord.}  I can honestly say that to worship and dwell with Him forever is the best hope in the world…in which we get to partake!

I’m soooo tired….today truly has been a LONG day and I need sleep!  I just wanted to write an update and blog about a few changes in my life.

  • My good friend, Danielle, is now my right-hand girl in life and ministry!  I am so appreciative that God has joined us together as a team.  She’s like a nanny/personal assistant/housekeeper.  She is whatever I need at the moment and has such a servant’s heart.  God is awesome!  (And so is Danielle :)  She plans to remain serving at my side as we begin this ministry God’s placed on my heart.  We know that as she serves and transitions, in His perfect timing, into her area of ministry, that she’ll have acquired valuable wisdom, experience and divine connections while remaining obedient and faithful for this season.
  • The Lord has given a green light on incorporating and applying for 501(c)(3) status from the IRS.  At the same time He continues to bring along side us people who are dedicated to intercessory prayer.  He is fully in charge of this organization and I’m sooooo excited to see what He has in mind/store.
  • My husband…is still (only) Jesus for the time being.  I am ecstatic that He is so thrilled about me and delights in every detail!  To be honest, I don’t know how any man will ever measure up to this romance!  I almost pity him…LoL  I am absolutely telling the truth when I grin and say that I am perfectly content to be single until God allows my husband to find me.

Well, that’s enough for now.  Just an update.  Life’s been so busy since I’m working alot, seeing patients; saving money for IHOP.

God is AWESOME!  And if you need prayer or encouragement (cuz life is SERIOUSLY difficult sometimes) Please send me a note and I’d love to pray or talk w/ ya :)

God bless,

~desi

PS

Bout to start in on the nutrition aspect of life…can’t wait to get fit!!!

Dreaming…

Upon reading a very well written article concerning vision this afternoon, I felt compelled to analyze my future aspirations.  Interesting.  What do I desire to achieve…what are my goals?  I have decided that in my heart, what I would love to do with my life is help to build a huge empire for God using media, specifically satellite and internet.  Setup kinda like CBN.

People need to remain informed and encouraged.  We need to run with our eyes fixed on the prize right now.  I was just reading how quickly the Lord grew and prospered CBN.  It is nothing short of a miracle, the explosion in the network over the past 50 years.  God is moving rapidly and we had all better be ready to work or move over.  Time is short and we need to be about our Father’s business.  There are people’s lives on the line here.  We’re in a war; it’s time to wake up.

I hope to help awaken folks from slumber with breaking news coverage, inspirational family shows and movies, powerful Spirit led sharing of the gospel…among other things.  When I say I wanna do it all…am I dreaming too big?  Nah!  God is a big God and I’m sticking to His leading all the way to my fairytale ending.  Watch.

TheTruth.24/7.  Advancing Truth Around the Globe.

A beacon, a light on a hill…a lighthouse.  [[thetruth24-7.com]]

Soon as I get a PO Box, it’s mine :)

S0….what are your thoughts?  And what is your God-inspired dream right now?

Dear Future Desi

You know, one reason I feel I can be transparent on this blog…is because not many people read it.  That’s actually a comforting thing right now, as I attempt, again, to transition and move myself in the direction I am led.

I love the futureme.org site because it allow you to write and post-date emails to yourself.  I have received a couple thus far.  What I’ve not had, as of yet, is a positive response upon reading the notes from my former self.  “Have you…[blah, blah, blah]?”  Why no, I haven’t.  “Are you…[yada, yada, yada]?”  As a matter of fact, NO!  Ugh!

Well, future Desi, when, once upon a time, you look back and read all your journals, poems, blogs, etc., you will have peace and joy in reflecting on who you are and from where you came.  Since God uses the foolish things of this world to confound the proud, I’m in a superior position. LoL.  I’m just sayin.

Here’s lookin at you, girl!  To the future…

PS

No matter what, always believe in fairy-tales!

If I Died Today…

Where would I spend eternity?  Unfortunately I have not yet learned how to be faithful.  I wonder if there’s anything or anyone to whom I have ever been loyal.  Certainly not to God.  I look back on the six, yes SIX, short months of devoting my life to the Lord and they were absolutely joyous, wonderful months!  I had such a peace, and love for life and living.  Now, I am back to the muck and mire as a dog returning to it’s vomit.  Ugh!  I have disappointed and disgusted myself again and I sit here contemplating how people muster the strength to begin again…and again, over and over.  An addict who falls off course at every bump surely has not the courage to continue climbing back up the wagon.  Additionally, after believing the best then being disappointed numerous times, the family and friends of such people come to lose all faith and see the fallen as forever destined to remain weak and hopeless.  It is extremely difficult not to adopt this perspective of oneself.  This is precisely how I feel.  How can I start over?!  I’ve learned enough, though, to know…feelings aren’t facts.

Satan desires that I never get up again, that I cannot lift my head and believe once more.  He longs for me to believe the lie thereby remaining in the dark, desolate, in despair.  Then, you see, his work is not in vain, his mission would be accomplished.  If I lie still and play dead until my spirit, soul, and body follow, then I can bring God no glory.  I can help no-one if I focus on my own tragedy, my own pain.  I cannot effectively reach out in love to others if I stay chained down and entangled in the snares of the enemy.  Will my life be in vain, a waste. There is nothing more tragic than a life discarded due to false pretenses.  I will not accept the lie.  I will find strength, God’s strength to rise up again.  My pride be damned, I screwed up and I’m all dirty, smelly and nasty yet I will lift my eyes unto my Savior and stand up trusting that  He will clean me and make me white as snow…again.

Yes, it takes much strength to get up and get out of a mess, but it takes more still to remain in a meaningless existence.  Filling my belly on deception which the devil is faithful to feed me is beyond burdensome, it is impossible…for me.  I cannot live and allow my soul and spirit to die.  I cannot survive in a lie.  Thank God He made a way for me to come back, seven times seventy times I can return to Him and receive open arms.  I feel His love wrap around me as I look up to the cross, to the blood of Jesus.  These are feelings I can trust.  This is a truth I can build my life around, the redemption of my sinful self through God’s precious sacrifice, through His Son.  This is love, this is God.  GOD IS LOVE!

I’m convinced that people who curse God just have not been exposed to His overwhelming, peaceful, loving presence.  Anyone who has experienced Him, has experienced the greatest joy and fulfillment in life.  Yes, we can be deceived, fall away, and forget by believing lies, but God, through His Comforter, His Holy Spirit, will remind us and lead us back again to safety and truth.

Thank you, God…Father, Son, and Holy Spirit!  Thank you for never giving up on me!  I could never earn or deserve such mercy and forgiveness…and that is exactly why I can accept the gift of salvation! Praise God!

Though I have been horribly unfaithful,

“Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” ~ Lamentations 3:23

“A new day will dawn on us from above because our God is loving and merciful.  He will give light to those who live in the dark and in death’s shadow. He will guide us into the way of peace.” ~ Luke 1:78,79

BONUS:

Immediately as I’d finished this post, (apparently the date on my camera needs to be adjusted), I looked over to the table beside my chair and discovered this box.

Upon opening it I found an old ring of mine that has the word “STRENGTH” written on it!  It turns out my daughter had found it in a box and placed it on the table recently.  God and His mysterious, beautiful ways!  He is truly the lover of my soul!

Running My Race…

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” ~ Hebrews 12:1

Many months ago I had a woman speak into my life many prophetic words, which included a couple of things from my mother, who passed on in April 2008.  I wasn’t sure how to respond to this as I felt it violated my ‘religion’….hahaha.  Seriously.  But as this woman nonchalantly delivered her last prophetic word to me, and the second one from Mom, I immediately began to weep. 

The saying was one which Moma had often repeated to me, jokingly.  Nobody could have known about it, and the comment was something this woman had never said before, or so she told me afterward.  So I began to reexamine Mom’s first message to me.  “RUN!”  The woman said it emphatically, with such urgency and determination.  “RUN!”  It seemed almost alarming!  Until today in church, I never made the mental connection between the above Bible verse and my mom’s word for me.  Now, I finally understand.  My mother, now part of the great cloud of witnesses cheering me on, was telling me to run!  Run my race with perseverance.  Wow…

Pastor Sharon Daugherty preached this morning’s sermon.  She showed “The Harvest” video and as I watched I shook my head, saddened at the ironic similarity between fact and fiction.  This was Pastor Billy Joe Daugherty’s favorite movie.  The Harvest!  Oh, God, the great harvest!!  Help me to do all I can to help your kingdom!  That is all I live for and truly desire.

“Open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest.” ~ John 4:35

This was the verse Pastor’s family found on his table when they returned from the hospital.  The Harvest.  Pray. Give. Go.  Yes, Lord! Yes, Lord! Yes, Lord!  How can my response be anything less?  When I think about what you’ve given me, what you’ve done for me, what you’ve sacrificed for ME!  Yes, Lord, with ALL that I am and all that I have to offer, YES!

It’s so late/early and I’m actually falling asleep, but there are so many things I’d like to share.  My life is so different now from what it has ever been before.  I am so blessed by God Almighty to live in His will for my life and seek His face and Kingdom first, everything else is being added, indeed!  He is so good, so merciful, so loving and kind.  I cannot imagine serving the God I thought I knew before, the one who looked to criticize, waited to watch and scold me when I stumbled off course.  This is a strange God.  This God is like none other.  He is personal and sweet yet firm and uplifting in a non-threatening, parental kind of way.  He is everything.  The Great I AM!  And I… am His.

Today is our 4 month anniversary.  I am thankful for His grace and mercy which allow me to celebrate that He alone has held my love and affection, adoration, for these past several months.  Truly, for the first time in my life, I am free.  I am free.  I am so free.  I cannot write this without the tears of gratitude and overwhelming love welling up in my eyes.  Alas, I have never tasted this life unchained before and it is more wonderful, more beautiful, more sweet than I ever could have imagined.  Thank you, my King, lover of my soul, precious Jesus, El Shaddai, Holy Spirit.  Thank you…and Happy Anniversary God! 

This might be the part where I look down at my feet and ponder your thoughts on the subject.  4 months…is that ALL?!  How long has she been a Christian?  Wasn’t she a leader in the church?  What had she withheld from Him all this time?  What sin was she hiding?  I’d be lying if I said such things didn’t cross my mind but ultimately, I’ll do me and allow you to do you :)  Fair enough?

I will take my 4 months by God’s grace and wear it proudly for all the world to see that I am in love with my Savior and my Lord, my one, true God!  I have never had such joy and peace and utter satisfaction to be exactly where I am at every moment of every day.  I am led by my shepherd and I know His voice, I will never again follow a stranger’s.  …But not by my might, only by His graceAlways by His grace.

Moving on…today is Nov. 30th.  Tomorrow is the 3 months mark since I last talked with Francis.  I anticipate his call with bittersweet feelings.  Things will change no matter what the conversation holds.  My trust is in God to guide us along His intended path and perfect will for our individual lives.  If God’s will is that our paths unite, so be it.  If not, so be it.  But I still await his call somewhat nervously.  I am prepared for either outcome, I believe.  I know I heard/saw clearly several times back in 2006/2007, and even in recent times, that Francis was the one for me but I wasn’t close to ready.  I was a totally different person than I am today.  Wow…LoL.  I would’ve run from me back then!  I was so lost, confused, sad, and unsaved, really, to be totally honest.  Even though I was in Bible school, I was living a complete double life.  In my heart I loved the Lord, truly!  But I was still in that awkward transition between the world and the Kingdom of Heaven.  Some people have an immediate, dramatic conversion.  I delayed my crossing over entirely for years because of deep-rooted issues I had not resolved until this past year.  Francis saw me then…raw and real, bleeding still, though passionately desiring the life God offered.

Then, this year he caught a glimpse of the woman I’d become in his absence and since Bible school.  I remember for a couple of weeks I felt led by God to pray for the Lord’s perfect will to be restored to my life.  I didn’t even know what it meant.  Still don’t, entirely.  Around the same time, on a different subject, I thought, I felt to pray for God to open up Francis’s eyes.  I believe the Lord truly opened his eyes to the truth.  It was rather interesting to wake up to a 3 am phone call with him on the line, rather excited and shocked all at once, his words rushing out and spilling over each other as he explained how he’d come to see that we might possibly be meant for each other.  Then, there was the last phone call a few days later where he calmly and tenderly asks me to ‘just wait for 3 months and then we’ll talk about this further’ as he went away to seek the Lord’s perfect will for his life.  LoL.  Either way though, I’m glad the wait is nearly over.  Can I be totally honest and say now that the call is so close I worry a bit if a man would interfere with this amazing love and beautiful life I have with the Lord.  Well, at any rate…God knows best.

And…on another note entirely, I will never forget when the Lord asked me to step away from my job (working for Prasad’s company as a home health aide) and step into full-time ministry.  I looked around me to see who God was talking to…um…I was in the shower.  So, yeah, He was talking to me!  Exactly seven days later I shocked everyone, including myself, and resigned.  The bad seed stopped.  Praise God!  I began preparing for ministry by praying a lot! and seeking direction.  Krystal and I were praying together and soon she also was thrust into full-time ministry.  Soon, we united with Pastor Josephine and Fred as part of Bugingo Victory Ministries. 

Our team began meeting M-F for several hours to pray and plan.  Shortly thereafter we took our first team trip (excluding Fred due to a conflicting work schedule) to Port Saint Joe, Florida to support Christian Hedegaard, Josephine’s brother.  Sometime after we returned home we also began serving a weekly dinner to several homeless people downtown.  Now, we are believing God and planning on starting a church, as well as preparing and organizing a mission trip for a team from the U.S. to build a new orphanage building in Rwanda for Pastor Josephine’s children.  We are blessed to be productive for His Kingdom and glory!  Praise God!  All this, though, did not keep me completely busy during the day and I began to feel a shifting of my life again.  What next, Lord?!  I asked almost timidly.  I knew by then, God has me take these crazy, giant leaps of faith.  LoL, oh yes!  Here came another…

My children were removed from the Supernatural Academy at the mutual consent of the school and me.  God revealed to me that my children needed to be homeschooled.  WHAT?!  Hahahaha…seriously God, which public school should I enroll them in?!  (Panic ~ because I know He’s not changing His mind but I try to cover my ears.)  Gently, “No…they need you right now.”  (Peace)  Ahhhh…And now I have the blessing, honor, and extreme privilege of homeschooling my beautiful babies!  I LOVE IT!  I would have NEVER thought!  LoL. 

I wake up, have a nice big cup of coffee, spend some quality, alone time with the Lord, and cook a huge, delicious breakfast of eggs, bacon/sausage, pancakes, etc.  After our break’feast’, we all clean up and do chores, schoolwork, or take field trips, etc.  It’s incredible!  It’s God.  And I am the most blessed woman in the world.  I get to love them, teach them, watch them, enjoy them, lose my temper and patience with them, live in the best and worst situations with them, snuggle with them and grow with them.  It’s more than I ever asked for or desired and it’s so much better than doing anything else!

And God continues to provide… I LOVE THE LORD & I LOVE MY LIFE!

If there’s someone out there still reading this besides me…Lol, I’m sorry.  I never intended for this blog to be so long, but I really had a lot of catching up to do :)  This is more for me than for you, but if you found this interesting then that’s wonderful!

Keep checking back and I’ll keep ya updated on this wild and totally out of (my) control life which I’m living :)  For now, I’m going to sleep!  May God richly bless you!!!