Archive for November, 2014

But God…

Here I sit watching “Ink Master,” dreading the end of the seasons and episodes on Netflix.  I’ve already run through all the “Orange is the New Black.”

I put chicken and dumplings in the slow cooker for dinner and fed the babies lunch. Now I’m thinking of all the things I need to accomplish this weekend, while I sit on my ass watching episodes, LoL.

Okay, so the point of the blog today is about those beautiful moments in life where God interjects.  I love the moments were I’m headed in a completely wrong direction or I’ve messed EVERYTHING in my life up entirely, etc., and God unexpectedly, undeservedly steps in and changes the circumstances or atmosphere…or changes my heart.  BUT GOD…

I almost feel guilty about the amount of ‘but God’ interjections in my life.  I know God always has, always will give me enormous grace.  I would be dead if not for His love and mercy.  I am not exaggerating!

He has just graciously given me another, “But God.”

Sometimes I’ve taken His interjections and allowed them to shape and mold my path, actions and thought; sometimes I’ve taken the extended new beginning, relieved, without making allowing any heart of life changes.  And it the latter times, when I’ve known full well He is offering up a fresh start yet I’ve refused to completely submit my will and ways, I continued on my course, justifiably scared.  To accept God’s mercy and deny God’s will is an extremely dangerous and terrifying!

Lord, forgive me for focusing on anything but your grand design played out through my individual life.  Help me to live, love and serve you for the rest of my days…100%.

I love you!

Gimme 3 Pain Pills & a Wine Cooler

And I’ll be alright.  Just sayin…

The same bullshit cramping in my legs I’ve endured since before I was a teen.  Boo.  I’m 35, growing pains, my ass!  What do “they”  know?!

I was going to title this, “He Signed for His Ankle Monitor!!!”

But…then I popped the pills because the pain became too much to bear.  I never liked medicine:  I remember when I first started experiencing the leg cramps, I shunned acetaminophen  and instead cried throughout the entire night, overwhelmed.  Now, I easily recognize the familiar feeling and medicate pretty quickly :)  Fuck it 

What am I doing?  I restarted watching, “Orange is the New Black,” yesterday and right now I’m on episode 7.  If I seem sidetracked, I am.

“The World Shoulda Stopped”  That’s one Ima write!  There are many days/nights I felt genuinely insulted when the earth kept spinning yet my heart was broken and would bleed forever….but that’s another story.

I feel my wine cooler and I just want to go curl up in bed, snuggle up with my fleecy, zebra striped blanket, and fall into a deep sleep until the babies wake me up by fussin and talkin.  Instead, I will wake them up soon and put them in the car for a ride across town to pick the kids up from Fright Fest (Frontier City).  I just hope they go right back to sleep when we return home!

I will blog more later…more focused and relevant stuff LoL

ADHD wins today….God bless :)