I’ve been recovering from a nasty cold all week, so you can imagine my joy upon awaking to rowdy boys at 6 AM.  Oh yeah.  Then to make matters worse my daughter gets up and screams and cries all morning.  UGH!  I don’t know if I had any patience at all when I woke up; I certainly didn’t have any by the time my aunt arrived around 7:30 to take the kids to their basketball and cheerleading.  I had already given at least two or three spankings to my daughter who continuously refused to eat and get ready.  My aunt, so loving and gentle, said she would take over for me.  (An attempt to keep me from yellling.)  How’d that work?!  The kids didn’t respond well to her soft persuation either and when they finally walked out of the house it was a few minutes after 8.  The pictures began at the church at 8.  Nice.

It was my fault for not staying up at  6 when the boys initially woke me up.  I could have laid out their uniforms, socks, shoes, etc.  Okay, I admit that.  But the uniforms were located easy enough and still the kids took their own sweet time playing, screaming, eating, playing, dressing, screaming, playing, brushing teeth, screaming, playing.  (Now you’ve got the picture.)  A person can only take so much and I believe my aunt coming this morning was a Godsend!  I literally had tears in my eyes from frustration.  Thank God she was here to take them.  Now, I’m sitting here thinking how the morning should have transpired, but really I’m too tired to analyze the situation. 

These are the moments I look to heaven and wonder how I can do this.  Usually, it’s evening or bedtime and I go to sleep and wake up refreshed.  In this case, the beginning of the day was overwhelming and sleep is not an option.  Sometimes, I feel it’s all too much to bear.  I know my feeling sick is contributing to this perspective, but understanding does not always lead to better perception.  I’m tired of my children, despite my best, consistant efforts, showing disrespect and disobedience.  I’m tired of the boys breaking, destroying, and roughly handling everything and everybody.  I’m tired of my daughter crying.  I’m just tired.

I thought about getting ready and going to the church to watch them play.  (This is an every Saturday event for two months.)  Then, I thought I could just relax and wait for her to bring them back.  No matter, my daughter forgot her pom-poms and I need to take them to her.  Today is picture day and it just wouldn’t look the same without pom-poms.  So, here I go for round two…

Lord, I pray you will give me peace, understanding, wisdom, and discernment to handle the children with love, even when I am so overwhelmed and upset that I don’t feel like praying or asking for help.  I pray you would help me see these children as the blessings they truly are and not the animals they act like sometimes.  I pray you give them peace and a quiet, gentle spirit.  For that matter, I pray for a quiet, gentle spirit!

Without you I am nothing, and can do nothing of value.  I need you so bad in these moments when I feel I cannot hold up under pressure.  You are my foundation, my Rock, my Jehovah Jireh, and I thank you that you are always working in every detail of our lives.  I put my faith, hope, trust in you Lord and I commit this day to your will.

Thank you for always being faithful and good.  Thank you for your ever-increasing mercy.  Thank you for loving me first. 

Amen.

Okay, much better.  Here is the end of the day and it turned out wonderful because my aunt decided to take all the kids back to her house for the day and evening.  I got a much needed break which restored my sanity.  My aunt took them out hiking and exploring the country surrounding her house and wore them out for me.  I had much more patience with the kids upon their return.  :)  Thank you Amikee!